Setting boundaries as a white ally: Why its important, why its challenging and how to do it ethically

NOTE: This post specifically addresses white allies but the principles are transferrable to any allyship relationship. Why we need boundaries: Emotional differentiation My understanding of allyship is that it is a relationship, rather than a one-way transaction. This means that principles of healthy relating apply, including enthusiastic consent and self-responsibility. I believe that these elements…

Read more

The connection between Heart-centredness, burnout and colonization

The problem with Heart-centredness Heart-centred has become quite a popular word, especially embraced by communities devoted to social change. No doubt, having empathy allows us to relate to people we don’t share the similar life experiences with. Its especially important to be able to relate to those who we have more privilege than. Yet, we…

Read more

From white ‘fragility’ to white ‘vulnerability’: How white allies can honour their feelings and show up

Artwork by Jill Greenberg NOTES & EDITS: This article is a re-work of another article that critiqued the shaming of white fragility in social justice communities. This post is directed mostly towards my white allies.  ‘White tears’ is an ever popular word being used in social justice media these days. As a therapist I have…

Read more

Why white people can’t dance: they’re traumatized

NOTE: When I say ‘white’ this doesn’t equal European. I understand that there are long and unique histories of European peoples that I can’t speak to as I am not the expert. For me white begins in the ‘enlightenment’ era where reason came to the forefront of European society. From this understanding, I believe that…

Read more