In helping you explore your desire to work with me, I would like to first describe how I currently see the weird and wonderful landscape that our relationship is happening within.
I see that, underneath our usual cognitive awareness, we are swimming in an ocean of energetic information, that we experience through an apparatus we refer to as our nervous system, with all of its emergent sensations, emotions, and cognitions. The splishes and splashes of this water-y body, which I sometimes refer to as the ‘cultural soma‘, has its own dreams that it’s dreaming and it is these dreams that are constantly both penetrating into and swallowing whole our reality. The intangible beings that inhabit this dreaming world, we may call ancestors, spirits, memes (information as entity, not the internet pictographic ‘meme’ although very related), and so on.
To speak more pragmatically, this is to say that the information of all creation, from the most peaceful, like a calm forest, to most violent, like being eaten alive by another animal, as templates for our eros, which is our impulse to feel fully alive. My understanding is that this dreams-within-dreams nature of reality is neither good nor bad, and in fact, most often in between. What lays underneath simply wants to be seen. We can enjoy this ‘wanting to be seen’ energy in a pleasurable way, through creativity and expressive means, including sexuality. Or we can experience it as damning in the ways it shows up as oppression and abuse on both individual and collective levels where we try to meet our disowned erotic longings in violent ways, for example in how the many institutions and powerful individuals we are governed essentially get off on hypnotically manipulating us.
This erotic aspect of our being is not something that we can turn off but we can guide and even transmute our turn-ons. My current life and professional practice is researching how we may better steward these emergent dreams into the material present moment. I don’t find there to necessarily be one unified goal here. Sometimes it is for healing. Sometimes it is for pleasure. Sometimes it is for change. Sometimes it is for the experience itself. It is important to not always try to fix meaning on the things we are doing lest we get trapped into a rigidity that the path to where we are going only has one type of terrain we can walk through and lash out when the scenery changes.
This said something has been emerging in my understanding of practice, as a way we can frame and hold this process in a way that is pragmatic, transparent, and affirming. That is, that developing our capacity to hold our erotic dreaming and dying process is our path towards our whole adulthood.
In a culture that does not have centralized and structured processes i.e. initiations to the development of our maturity, life itself takes over and initiates us. This may show up as the death of a parent, a loss of community, or an abusive relationship, and so on. We, Westerners, have referred to our process of managing these transitions as ‘healing’ but I’m afraid that word merely describes a part of a process and does not actually provide the container needed to move us vigorously toward being in the world in a way that is more whole, ethical, and frankly, fun.
In a pragmatic sense these maybe outcomes that may be achieved:
- Developing a more fulfilling artistic / spiritual / embodiment practice
- Creating more economic wholeness that comes with being able to financially protect and nurture oneself as well as others that are important to you
- Extricating oneself from toxic relationships and communities, and surviving backlash (memerotic transformational processes often disrupt relationships that were built around limitations)
Following in my practice, my frame is that we are expected to show up as a whole adult in our work together (if that is what we do). This means I will not be responsible for ANY of your disowned and projected unconscious desires of me, and you should do the same with me. I do not subscribe to the common narratives around power dynamics between teacher-student, practitioner-client, and so on, that are about the ‘person in power’ coddling the childhood wounds of the other so they can be re-parented.
My frame is that we have the responsibility to be adults RIGHT NOW that we have been flunking on. Our lack of capacity, which is understandable because of the culture we grew up in, does not take away our responsibility. If you’re tormented inside right now from discomfort, rather than feeling relieved, I would suggest turning away now as you are not welcome to my work.
If you are relieved, please keep reading.
In engaging in such a practice as I do, of supporting people in an initiatory maturation process as I am going through my own myself, I hold that our work together requires us to be adults, which means having a full open range of relationships possible. I will be treating our work together like I do any aspect of my life, organically presencing into mutual space and listen to the needs and desires of the ancestors, spirits, and other beings that are a part of our psyche’s matrices. Pragmatically, I’m open to our encounter eventually leading us to be teacher, student, consultant, client, friend, colleague, flirt, collaborator, and even lover or partner of each other. Heck, it might even be a mix of these things. This might seem strange to you at first but what it means is that the presumption is that we are gaining the skills to be in a fully mature relationship with each other and this requires us to not have any boundaries or limitations based on projections of attachment material on to each other.
This is to say, if you would like to work or even just connect with me, it’s crucial you call upon a radical responsibility to be transparent with yourself about all of the motivations, covert and overt, you may have – I will be doing the same. If you cannot handle that, you are not welcome to my time and energy.
Following, if you would like to participate in the experimental project that is my practice and organically explore what our connection might be, please feel free to book a 30-minute initial ‘liminal date’ through which we may explore what information is emerging from the collective body and how we may most pleasurably and responsibly work with that. You can book me for that here: https://calendly.com/tadahozumi/30min
I also understand that sometimes folks know exactly what they want, including situations that call for urgent attention, and an initial exploratory consult is not what is necessarily needed. I’m happy to work with you in a 60min paid consult booking that is held in professional practitioner-client consultation, as long as we understand that working as practitioner-client doesn’t nearly define our future relationship interactions.
Having said all of this, below are more details about my consulting practice including rates and booking information.
12 sessions = 2 sessions/month * 6months for $2400
60-75 minute sessions