I think the most accurate way to describe what I do is: I offer people experiences, mostly based on my learnings and failings from my Life/Death-as-Art-Project, which they may integrate in a way that is helpful to themselves and the ecosystems/bodies they belong to.
I understand this may sound obtuse and there is more detailed information below to sort some of that out.
But first, I just wanted to dispel that what I offer is coaching/consulting/counseling itself, although I certainly can bring in these elements into the work as verbs (as opposed to nouns). Yes, healing might happen, but I don’t want us to lose the bigger picture that what we are doing together is much more than whether feel good or bad as individuals – it is a kind of regeneration/remediation of culture, using our (working) relationship as a laboratory.
Additionally, if you know of my work through my previous participation in the ‘Embodied Activism’ and ‘Healing Justice’ field/industries, please note that, while I continue to hold cultural healing as an intention, my approach to practice and life as a whole has come to deeply diverge from the behavioral and ideological norms held within ‘social justice’ discourse and community.
My current ‘politics’ is both a holistic and slightly heretical spiritual endeavor rooted in a commitment to what we might call modern non-dual alchemical animism.
Yes, that is a mash of words and if it catches you off guard, I hope it will clarify a bit as you keep reading!
Having said all of the above, I would like to share with you what I’m really jamming to lately and my current practice is based upon, which is the connection between information and Eros.
Let’s first talk about information, particularly memetics.
If you are unfamiliar, memetics is a field of study majorly based on a thesis put forward by evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins, in his 1976 book, The Selfish Gene. In it, Dawkins expands claims the gene itself to be an information-based entity that has the natural drive to replicate itself and therefore uses what we call organisms to achieve its desires. This paradigmatically shifted ideas of ‘who’ was supposed to be benefitting from the evolutionary process, attributing much more agency to the micro, rather than merely the macro that we usually perceive as the coherent whole.
Going even further than this though, Dawkins also theorized that there existed packets of information, or rather memes, that mimicked genes in how they transported and replicated themselves in what we call ‘culture’. Everything from a social justice hashtag, such as #Metoo, to a whole ideological system such as white supremacy, can be considered to be memes.
Deeply influenced by my close collaborations with animist artist/practitioner Dare Sohei, my take on memetics is decidedly animistic. My understanding is that our elder cultures used words such as ancestors, spirits, gods/goddesses, and etc. to refer to the memetic beings that inhabit the unseen realm. The work of shamans, priestesses, and other animist spiritual specialists was the management of memes within their community.
So you can say I am someone studying my ancestors and once in a while put on their ways as a kind of cosplay to see what we can do in our modern cultural context.
Next, about Eros.
An Erotic ‘Cultural Somatics’
Something that I’ve been reflecting on for a while now in my personal and professional experiences is that our bodies seem to respond to the passing of memes from body-to-body with conscious or unconscious arousal (which isn’t always sexual but can be).
For a long time, I noticed I always had erotic-sexual associations with how certain types of knowledge or behaviors transferred between me and my intimate partners. Particularly, I’ve always been fascinated by how so much of our culture’s sexual fantasies revolve around power dynamics created in teacher-student type role play.
Considering this deeper was at first troubling to me because my training as a so-called therapist/counselor and the limits and boundaries placed on Eros in professional relationships. Yet, it was undeniable that my passion for the people I worked with as a teacher/practitioner had an eroticism to it, even if it wasn’t felt or expressed sexually (because I am keen on being able to shape my eroticism appropriately to the context of my relationships – hence the self-transparency). And the more I thought about it, it became more and more apparent to me that eroticism was definitely a route for the transmission of spiritual knowledge in early mystical cults.
Then things really came to a head when a former client who I had referred out because they had reported experiencing strong feelings of ‘transference’ with me after a relatively gentle belly breathing exercise later claimed that I had tried to sexually exploit them. This was disheartening and a great surprise since I thought I had done things by the book.
My choice in how to meet this inflection, with the guidance of some trusted colleagues and the nudging of plant medicines, was to lean into the problem and open up my practice more fully to the presence of Eros between me and my client, so it may actually breathe and be seen, rather than be carted off somewhere to be dealt with. Soon after, some people who followed my social media content reported to me that they would get turned on from following my content because of the ‘mind fuck’ – this sealed the deal.
These reflections were pivotal because, through the practice of Cultural Somatics, I had already been working with the idea of our world being composed of a nested fractal of ‘bodies’, and that our culture itself is a collective soma that houses our collective unconscious made up of intergenerational, cultural, and ancestral information. Following, I began experimenting in my practice with the premise that our whole cosmos is a metaphysical porno, a hot-and-bothered ocean of information that is fractally, modularly fucking each other, sometimes even violently.
Making meme love, not meme-war
My current understanding is that what we call cultures are ways in which humans have tried to create patterns of collective hypnosis to shape this cosmic erotic energy and have led to even complex memetic structures. This is why a lot of the problems within our culture comes from the denial of this primordial Eros existing and distorting it, creating dynamics where we may get off on waging non-consensual violence on others.
The above is apparent, for example, in how the collective relationship we are in with governmental bodies really resembles a non-consensual Dominance/submission dynamic, or how ‘Cancel Culture’ replicates punishment as an arousing participatory spectacle/orgy that is used to unleash pent up emotional energy from familial and intergenerational traumas. Taking it further, humans have waged whole-scale war on each other on behalf of conflicting memes, such as communism and capitalism, or Christianity and Islam through The Crusades. Imperialism itself is what happens when memes are battling it out for their share in the marketplace of our collective unconscious – a bad violent orgy.
One way to explain why the above dynamics happen is because of something we might call ‘memetic possession’. This is a phenomenon that happens because memes we develop a strong relationship with when our systems are overloaded with stress tend to borough deep in our psyche and totally consume the memetic ecosystem as they become directly bonded with our survival responses. For example: “Boys Don’t Cry” or even “#MeToo” can act in this way.
Here, it is important for us to suspend a little bit our evaluation of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ memes based on our human-centered sense of ethics. The point isn’t whether a meme is useful to us or not, as much as what happens when we lose sight that the information entities we use to make sense of our lives have their own agenda that can run away on us if we dissociate from the reality that they are there in the first place. The truth is, any meme that is bonded with our trauma can hyper-vigilantly lash out and also try to advance its territory in a violent way.
In contemplating what we may do about this very culturally engrained ensnarement, it’s useful to come back to the premise that memes don’t just fight with one another but also make love. In fact, the memetic transfer of information from one body to another can be understood as an inherently erotic act of penetration-reception that can birth a new meme.
This might be a good time for you to take a second and realize that meme sex is literally happening *right now* since as you are reading this, memetic beings connected to your nervous system are being erotically penetrated by the memetic beings coming through mine. Yet, at the same time, you might also have some memetic beings attached to you that feel invaded and in conflict with the memetic beings connected to me.
This is to say that meme sex and meme war is always happening simultaneously it is actually often hard to tell where lovemaking ends and war-waging begins. This is why we often feel a strong vibration in our psyche, a rapid ping-ponging from fear to attraction, when we enter liminal thresholds that challenge our existing belief structures.
The practice I offer through my private sessions is majorly about being well in this kind of liminality, using our erotic energy to transmute our internal memetic ecosystem from a monopolistic war paradigm to a non-dual eros paradigm that is able to hold a complex diversity of memetic beings in erotic relationships with one another that brings more wellbeing to the ecosystems/bodies we belong to and also hold in our selves.
My work is designed to support you in having an experience that is insightful/nourishing/thawing/etc., including help guiding you to integrate experience in ways that align with your Dao/fate, with the understanding that it is ultimately your responsibility to get what you need and want from our time together.
The initial spark for undertaking this work can be a lot of different things, from wanting to develop an erotic-sexual experience with an ancestor/spirit to heal intergenerational wounds, start a rewilding project that harmonizes our relationship to Land, to write a book of channeled poetry that explores histories of inter-cultural abuse i.e. colonialism/imperialism.
You may also not have anything concrete yet to center attention on in the process and that is also OK. Following intuition/confusion is also a part of the liminal aspects of the work.
Sessions themselves can vary in intensity, all the way from a pretty relaxed consult about your interests to erotic visualizations, and can be customized to where our comfort levels meet.
Pragmatically, sessions can include elements such as:
- Somatic consulting/coaching on issues where animism, cultural change, somatics, and Eros intersect. (This is about 70-90% of the work in my experience.)
- Directly working with memetic beings that are burdening your system so their energies maybe redistributed and/or re-integrated in the larger collective nervous system i.e. an exorcism
- Facilitating visualizations of auto-erotic experiences with ancestors
I understand the above description may sound a bit perplexing but it’s also why I set up trial sessions for all prospective clients, which you can read about more below, close to the bottom of this page.
Lastly, it’s important to me that you understand how experimental this process is. One of my ongoing explorations is how our understanding of counseling/consulting/coaching changes when we recognize erotic work was once one of the vital ancient origins of what we call modern healing in the first place. My belief is that the separation of Eros from healing labor has distorted the entire Western paradigm and this practice is a way for me starting to play with blurring some lines (no, not a reference to the song).
Note: I have deep interests in the area of BDSM and Sex Magick but I am not a seasoned practitioner of these arts that can provide you with established protocols of play in these areas. That said, I think I may be able to provide unique insights into these areas based on my explorations into the primary erotic nature of reality, which you may integrate into your own practice.
I principally hold that the kind of work I offer requires us to fundamentally relate as mature adults in practice together, especially as feeling and expression of erotic, or even sexual energy, is understood as part of the process. That is to say, my practice is a kind of ‘memetic erotic artmaking’ between peers, where recognition of the innate eroticism of information transfer between human bodies is held as a central guiding principle of relating.
Because of this, I am explicit that my practice is not aligned with expectations that often come along with common practitioner-client type relationships and the kind of insurmountable power differentials that are assumed of them.
Particularly, I do not presume I have the responsibility as a practitioner to create a ‘safe feeling space’ for you, although I will take tangible measures of real safety, such as exercising consent practice as best as I can. A part of this is that I do not see myself being responsible for taking care of parent-child type attachment dynamics that may aptly show up in our working relationship as material, and hence I do not put a lot of restrictions on ‘dual relationships’.
Speaking pragmatically, I’m open to our encounter eventually leading us to be teacher, student, consultant, client, friend, colleague, collaborator, flirt, and even lover or partner, to each other. Heck, it might even be a mix of these things.
I consider the development of behavioral complexity that it takes to be able to embrace this kind of fluidity to be itself one of the tangible outcomes of doing this kind of work. I fundamentally see spiritual cultivation as a practice of play, and that we are all playmates, who may mutually agree to situationally enter into teacher-student or practitioner-client roles as a way of fostering learning.
My closest model for this comes from African vernacular dance AKA street dance, where learning happens between peers that dance with each other, and the capacity to teach the art is emergently established by being witnessed in a (literal and metaphorical) circle of peers. My deep desire is that my practice itself may be part of a wider cultural shift where ‘healing’ is understood as an artistic process, and the relationships of learning-teaching that arise from it are held in ways that are competent yet fluid by nature.
In having stated all of the above, I ask that you, in working with me, call upon radical responsibility to be transparent with yourself about all of the motivations, covert and overt, you may have, including any erotic impulses that might be underlying. I will be doing the same by treating our work together like I do any aspect of my life: by organically presencing into mutual space and listen to the needs and desires of ancestors, spirits, and other beings that make up my psyche’s matrices.
Consent for the practice space
Please note that by stepping into work with me, you are consenting to step into a process that is built on a primary ethos of erotic energies neither being exploited, through manipulations of promises of fulfilling fantasies, or suppressed, shut down through shame.
Pragmatically, this means allowing ourselves to name any erotic experiences we are having WITHOUT having those erotic experiences interact with each other in an intentional exchange (although a little flirtation is a fine affair of course). We learn to enjoy and explore a more whole breadth of what is arising without needing them to come alive in (our) manifest reality.
Most of us, as children lacked a place where we can express our erotic feelings without adults violating us through sexual abuse or shaming us into shutdown and the boundaries of this container are there for attending to and recalibrating our basic senses around this.
This capacity for erotic self-containment is important because my understanding in Memerotics is that our erotic experience is connected to the memetic beings our nervous systems are entangled and are conduits for. This means that we do not need to directly and immediately act on every erotic impulse we feel, nor should we.
We might feel charges of erotic energies between us, phenomena we often refer to as ‘transference’, but we will get the opportunity to see the possessions/channelings that are creating that experience for what it is.
Continuing on, below are some practical examples of what working within this threshold may look like.
Example 1: You might name what you are feeling in your genitals when you tune into a particular ancestor.
Example 2: I often experience the erotic energies in the field of others in my body as a kind of ‘erotic clairvoyance’ that surfaces as impulses, which I may offer to you as simply information. For example, I may tell you that “I can feel a desire to kiss you rising in my body”, without needing, expecting, or even wanting for that to happen at all. Often, I have found that just reporting from my experience has the effect of grounding and clearing the field – the being that wants to be seen is seen and that is the end of that.
A note on relating outside of our container
I very much try to hold sex magick as an intimate play between peers in practice. And because of that, I don’t limit dual relationships with people I’ve worked with.
That said, I do think there are charges that can build up in sessions like this that need to be processed, even dispelled, for safe and healthy relating in such deep exploration.
I am currently suggesting a three to six-month cooling-off period to ‘reset’ our relationship to a point where we can recover all relational possibilities. Even within this, no process is imperfect. Above all, it is your responsibility to hold your ability to navigate complexity, including consent.
My position on privacy in our work is that I honor the usual confidentiality that practitioners exercise until there is a need to defend myself and hold clients accountable.
I understand my practice is not ‘orthodox’ and works with erotic energies that are considered transgressive to many, which naturally puts me at risk of things I say or do in-session and in communication being interpreted in ways that I did not intend.
For this reason, I reserve the right to:
- Record any sessions with clients as a form of documentation
- Share any documentation of my behavior as a practitioner, including recordings of sessions and receipts of communication, in situations where I need to defend myself to an audience, such as a public ‘call-out’ or a whisper campaign
On the other hand, I consider all documentation and receipts of behavior in my work to be something that should and can be available to the public if clients would like to share them, even if it is in criticism of my practice, and there is no need to ask for permission although it is an appreciated courtesy.
Basically, confidentiality is in place for the benefit of clients until there is a conflict in which necessitates me to share documentation.
My default recommendation is 9 sessions over 6 months w/ an optional dedicated email thread to stay in touch between sessions.
Sessions are 60-75min (sometimes even longer depending on the situation) and priced at $100-350 with the low end being reserved for very special cases. The cost of the monthly email thread is priced at $50-125/month.
I will propose you a rate once you submit the client application form linked towards the bottom of this page.
Starting with a trial session
I am no longer offering free consults but instead asking all prospective clients to have a discounted 45-60 minute trial session with me so we can actually experience how our energies might work together. You might consider it a kind of ‘first date’ where there are no expectations of us mutually consenting to work together further.
I will send you a link to book a trial after you complete the client application form below.
Client application form
Any further questions?
I can be reached at: firstname.lastname@example.org